Todahbear’s Weblog

todah means…”sacrifice of praise”

poems, stories, & such December 30, 2007

A Promise of Love July 5, 2007

ring1.jpgring1.jpgChild, it’s 12:06
Why aren’t you asleep?
Lord, clouding my mind are promises I don’t keepring.jpgring.jpg
As the pain of guilt continues to linger
I look at my hand & take the ring off my finger
A symbol of the vow that I once made
Two years later emotions start to fade
Lord, this ring
With You i plan to leave it
Until with all my heart I can say I mean it 
Please don’t worry
For in a special place will I tuck it away
Hoping that I’ll choose again to wear it someday
I closed my eyes
We were standing at the cross
Now rugged, aged & covered with dross
Sudden pain!
As I opened my fist to see why it hurt
Clenched in my hand was gravel & dirt
In Yours,
There lay that precious band 
Paid with blood, my sin’s demand.
You spoke 
“With this ring, had I thee wed”
“Once for all, I swore then bled” 
And there on my finger, how it sparkled and shined
As You told me once more that it was still mine 
“Real love,” You said, “is much more than a feeling
See, LOVE, my child… it is not fleeting
And, bride of mine, just like this ring…
I am not leaving!”

midnight cry July 5, 2007

Oh God it seems much harder than back then
for i had promised that i wouldn’t sin again
I didn’t quite know what i was up against
but i should have known not to ride the fence

O Lord, my God, You know me best
and seen the times i’ve failed the test

You saw the many times i struggled and gave in
and grieved that i chose to turn back to sin

I know with all my heart that it is wrong
yet here i sit singing the same old song

The tears in my eyes don’t want it to be for a loss
how You died for my sins up on that cross

Lord what i’ve done…it was so wrong
and i ask that You’d please come and change my song


Dear Lord,
with all my heart i truly am sorry.
please forgive me and take me back.
I’m all Yours!
Signed,Your child  


two-faced liar June 23, 2007

You giggle
You smile
And laugh for a while

But later you sob
You cry
And ask God, “Why?!!”
Now you’re weeping and choking
You’re gasping for air
And all the while screaming how life’s just not fair
You wanna hide in the closet
Or run in the rain
Anything possible to flee from the pain
You havn’t learned your lesson,
You’re still set on going your way
Cuz you tell ‘em that you’re fine, then struggle through the day
You say you’re gonna change
But you know you won’t
Cuz you’re pretending you’ve got it together…even though you don’t
When will you finally learn
Will you ever change
Or continue in a life, filled with disarrange


“Abigail’s Story” June 23, 2007

____Written for Abigail’s Story____

“I’m falling in love,” I overheard you say
About a girl you met, one summer day
I wondered who it was and who she could be
Astonished to find out that she was me
I was filled with excitement, anxiety & fear
Every time that I saw you, as you came near
There was a war taking place, a battle in my heart
Foolishness saying, that we shouldn’t have to part
I fought & fought, wanting to give in
But I knew that Virtue, must very soon win
There will be days when I’m sad & days that I’ll cry
But it won’t be you to wipe that tear from my eye

Today I’m doing fine; I’m okay with that now
Truly it was God, who worked it out somehow

On those days I’d think of you and start to cry

I’d go to God and ask him, “Why?”

He would calm me down & remind me of that day

When He had shown me you weren’t right for me anyway


Curtain Call June 23, 2007

           On went her make-up
     On went his mask
     On went their costumes
     And all so fast
     It was time for his show
     Time for her debut
     They thought they looked perfect
     And soon you would too
     The lights went down
     Silence filled the air
     Curtains went up
     Move, you wouldn’t dare
     Careful he had to be
     He didn’t want to fall
     One little slip
     And he could lose it all
     Balance she had to
     Or she could trip
     The cost would be great
     If she only lost her grip
     The drama so intense
     Very well he played his part
     The song she chose was beautiful
     She danced her way into your heart
     Tired she was becoming
     Testing her own endurance
     But quit, she would not
     Til the end of her performance
     It was almost over
     Your rejection he feared
     The curtains closed
     The audience cheered
     “Bravo!” you shouted
     They took a bow
     Behind the scene, their costumes are off
     What would you think, if you saw them now
     They’re two different people
     Living separate lives
     In two different worlds
     But both living in lies
     Each time in public
     A performance they give
     And all to hide
     The lies that they live
     Because they’re covered in sin
     And feel they can’t win
     So instead they choose to lie
     As their soul slowly dies

storms March 23, 2007

The storms of life
can cause me to fall
The storms of life
i feel i’ve had to face them allDuring our storms of life
God’s waiting for us to call
then during these storms in our life
the storm won’t seem so hard at all

For You Lord…i will! March 23, 2007

I have a story
And I’d gladly tell it for Your glory…
to anyone You lead me to

I’d swallow my pride
and give it a try…
if it will lead them to You

what santa can’t do…Jesus can!!! March 23, 2007

i felt the dirt & slime, filth & grime
i hadn’t been smoking or sipping some wine
but that didn’t mean that everything was fine
what’s in the heart…goes to the mind
and before you know it…
you’ve sinned one more time
i couldn’t get out…
for i was bound in chains
i needed a Savior to take over the reins

stop dasher & donner, comett & blitzen
it’s time to pull over

so Christ can take over…
This Christmas time you need to know:
old Santa Clause can’t listen…

—December 21, 2006—

standing tall March 23, 2007

Katie Collins & Her New Self-Portrait

She tried to draw her picture , It never came out right

She wanted to paint her picture , But was totally filled with fright

What will people say, What will people do

What would people think, If i drew it out with ink

I’m too scared to share my story, Too scared to pour my heart

Would they still care about me, If I included every scar?

Would they know that I don’t have it together, If it was all laid out in paint

Would they know that I’m not perfect, Would they see how I’m no saint

She knew it was her choice, if she should choose to paint it all
But could it ever be something,
She’d risk to leave hanging on the wall?
So much went through her mind, 
so much was in her heart

But when she took that empty canvass, it all came out like art.

After this, people might say, “She’s not so special after all!”

But as she finished, in God’s eyes, She stood 10ft tall

She took two steps back, To breathe it all in

And said with a smile,  “This just might win”.

Cuz it finally looks like me , With flaws and scars from my past

Yes it finally really is me , I admit i had a blast

As i was painting this picture of the girl, The girl behind the mask

They came and saw her artwork, She had hung everything on the wall

And it seemed to her, like they were all in awe
Then they came to the picture,
but they still couldn’t see

Until she said…“The girl in the picture…yes, that one is me.”

They stood there in silence, She reminded herself not to dart

As they looked at the parts, she had been hiding from the start.

But when they looked in her eyes, and saw how she had changed

She was willing to be honest, and they were able to say

That they still thought she was pretty, even without the mask

And she no longer needed anything, to hide the scars from her past

They asked her how she painted it, for it seemed like quite a task

But she said that it was easy…after…she removed her mask

My two hands are crafted by God, i can feel in my heart

that from the beginning, my hands were made for art.

So this is how i can praise Him

Yes this could be my song

I could choose to take the glory

But i feel that would be wrong

So you can take her artwork, and hang it on a rod

But give the glory to her maker, for her talent was given by God.


sin March 23, 2007

The grip of sin
I knew it well
The grip of sin
I was headed for Hell

A lot has happened
And know I know…

Twas for that grip of sin
His blood was shed
Twas for that grip of sin
My Jesus bled


one dreary day, one awesone night March 23, 2007

Oh how lonely it was in this house full of lives
with nowhere to go to hide my teary eyes

To break away and feel so free
Is just the place I longed to be

My heart aches, my heart breaks
For now I see all my mistakes

I lived a life so full of lies
And hid behind a crafty disguise

One dreary day, one awesome night
The Lord took away all my fright

I faced my fears
They shed their tears Then told me they’d love me…
For all my years


“into your arms again” March 23, 2007

Oh why do i still lie
too much i still hide
the feelings that’s inside
i wish i could cry
But the tears are no more
for i’ve settled for less
O Lord I confess
that i am still so much a mess
O change me Lord
please change me now
Will you come in your power
and come in your glory
Oh God i pray…that you’d please change my story
I wanna come back
o how i need you back
For so long have i stayed away
and so far have i strayed away
But im running to you now
with this simple prayer
“Oh Lord, please take me back…
back into your arms again”

—september 23, 2006—








—july 9, 2006—

O Lord, It’s a brighter day

Now that my gray clouds you have rolled away

I can hear You as You gently say,
My child, My child…

in your heart I will stay.


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